Lately I’ve been in this struggle of confusion when it comes to the journey of dating and marriage. For most the church teaches young people that they shouldn’t date until they find that one specific individual that lines up with who God has called them to be. This method has always taught me that just like in the fairytales that we grow up on, there is one person for you. The pressure that comes with that is immense. How do you know if someone is the One. what if you think they are the One but they don’t think you are? Or worse, what if they think you’re the One but you. don’t. what happens then?
So the idea of the One has its pressures. But what adds to this confusion is when people tell you that there is no One. You would think that is freeing but if you overthink it you now are worried that God doesn’t really care and you have to work everything in your own strength to get someone to notice you so you can have that marriage you thought God promised you.
Welcome to my head. At least that was how exhausting it has been until I finally went on a run and told God that I need clarity. And like always He is so faithful to provide.
Now Boaz had gone up to the gate and sat down there. And behold, the redeemer, of whom Boaz had spoken, came by. So Boaz said, “Turn aside, friend; sit down here.” And he turned aside and sat down. And he took ten men of the elders of the city and said, “Sit down here.” So they sat down. Then he said to the redeemer, “Naomi, who has come back from the country of Moab, is selling the parcel of land that belonged to our relative Elimelech. So I thought I would tell you of it and say, ‘Buy it in the presence of those sitting here and in the presence of the elders of my people.’ If you will redeem it, redeem it. But if you will not, tell me, that I may know, for there is no one besides you to redeem it, and I come after you.” And he said, “I will redeem it.” (Ruth 4:1-4 ESV)
A kinsman redeemer was a person that was close to the family that would basically take charge of the “estate” and redeem them if they were in danger, need, or if someone had died. If you remember in Ruth chapter 3 she went to Boaz hoping he would redeem her. She chose to be vulnerable and let him know that they were in need and asked if he would redeem them but there was another in line before Boaz.
What is super interesting is that when Boaz Goes to the kinsman redeemer without skipping a beat says that he would redeem the land. Inheriting Naomi and her land sounded like a good idea. That was until Boaz reminded him that if he redeems the land then he must take Ruth the Moabite as his wife.
To this he replies, “I cannot redeem it for myself, lest I impair my own inheritance.” (Ruth 4:6 ESV)
Here’s the clarity. He didn’t want to take on all that comes with having a Moabite wife because Moabites were looked at as sexually perverse and in his eyes someone with a past could never be redeemed without the redeemers reputation or inheritance being tainted or as he says impaired.
Where am I going with this?
There are two things that I believe whole heartedly. 1. No matter what every single person has a story and a struggle in that story. Whether that struggle is something that people can see or it’s something others cannot see there is something that they have had to or have to journey through. And 2. Married or single God redeems that struggle.
Then Boaz said to the elders and all the people, “You are witnesses this day that I have bought from the hand of Naomi all that belonged to Elimelech and all that belonged to Chilion and to Mahlon. Also Ruth the Moabite, the widow of Mahlon, I have bought to be my wife, to perpetuate the name of the dead in his inheritance, that the name of the dead may not be cut off from among his brothers and from the gate of his native place. You are witnesses this day.” Then all the people who were at the gate and the elders said, “We are witnesses. May the Lord make the woman, who is coming into your house, like Rachel and Leah, who together built up the house of Israel. May you act worthily in Ephrathah and be renowned in Bethlehem, and may your house be like the house of Perez, whom Tamar bore to Judah, because of the offspring that the Lord will give you by this young woman.” (Ruth 4:9-12 ESV)
Boaz and Ruth understood this. They knew that Ruth came from a hard past but that didn’t bother Boaz because Ruth had alReady chosen to move forward and allow God to first redeem her. And He did.
So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son. Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a redeemer, and may his name be renowned in Israel! He shall be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age, for your daughter-in-law who loves you, who is more to you than seven sons, has given birth to him.” (Ruth 4:13-15 ESV)
This speaks truth and peace into the chaos that has been swirling in my mind lately. I believe God took me on this journey of discovering because He wanted to show me that He is the One and only that will satisfy the desire of being redeemed. He is the One that looks at it all and doesn’t wince. He is the One I can be a mess with and He never worries about His “estate” being tainted.
God wanted to do something extremely special because of Ruth’s obedience. Just look years later at the genealogy of Jesus, who’s name do you find?
and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, (Matthew 1:5 ESV)
That’s right. Ruth.
Allow yourself to be redeemed by the One and whoever the character is that comes in the chapter of your story will be okay with who you are because they too have met the redeemer. Keep the pen in God’s hands he has bigger things planned than you could ever imagine.
So single one I will leave you with this: know that you are already accepted. Know that you are loved more than you can ever understand. Know that a long time ago a man took the biggest risk and came down from His throne to die for you, hoping that you would see that. Dying a horrible death, even going down to hell to take the keys from the enemy and being resurrected knowing people wouldn’t accept Him, still He hoped.
So be redeemed by the lover of your soul. Be all into the journey He has placed you on and have friends. There is nothing more attractive than a person in love with their Savior and passionate about the life they have been given.
Just to love you is worth the hell I’ve been through.
Your Redeemer ”