It felt like the car was going to come to a screeching halt as the words, “online dating” left my mouth. My mom gripped the wheel and the tension was in the air. That was NOT the way you meet someone when you’re in my family. We watch Dr. Phil and Oprah and that was a disaster waiting to happen. But I, at 26 years old, felt that I needed to take a risk. A leap in my dating life. I had been single almost 10 years, with few crushes in between, and nothing more than thinking a guy could be the one. I was done being mad at God but I also felt that He wasn’t going to drop off an attractive male, who loved the Lord, had a job, and thought I was cute, at my door step. I trusted Him with what He was doing in my life, but felt a tug to get out of the boat. I was over trying out other churches, going to events, and frankly had too high of standards to go to a club. Not to mention I did not have time to mingle with men my age, while working and going to school, both full time. So online dating seemed like the safest yet scariest risk. I prayed about it, gave it to God, talked to my mentor and best friend, then set up a profile on ChristianMingle.
I deactivated my profile several times throughout the month of August, feeling scared that it wasn’t the wisest choice to make. Finally, towards the end of August I told myself that I would leave it up for a some time. Every “smile” and message that came through, I looked at through discerning eyes and did not reply to any, except one on September 2nd.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
I got the email saying a guy smiled at me, while I was at my older brother’s birthday party. Then a message came through. I checked out his profile. He was cute. Really cute. We both went to Assemblies of God churches, that was nice. He said he was a positive guy, very nice. Our morals online matched up, ok he gets a smile back. He then sent another message. I went to open it and the lovely reminder that you needed to pay $34.95 to respond to messages came up, investment. Hmmm The fears started coming up again. I closed my phone and enjoyed my brothers party then went home and prayed.
$35. That’s not too high of a cost. This guy seemed really legit, so I paid it. We messaged that evening, answering the basic questions. What’s your favorite color? What type of music do you like? All things that show a persons character lol. With every message, I asked God to show me if this was or was not something from Him. I leaned on Him continuously. Little things started coming out that brought peace. I found out that his dad lived in a city close by me and he had been to my hometown several times. He had mad respect for his grandmother. He worked at a legit place. He loved his church. I went to bed with a lot of excitement. The rest of the weekend we sent messages back and forth. I told him that I was looking for someone who was authentic and truly loved God. He seemed to be like that, but there was still a fear that I was missing something. He asked if we could talk on the phone, but I declined. He stayed super chill and respectful when I told him no. That was a big win for me. We continued to message for a few more days and really seemed to hit it off. Then on Wednesday a message was waiting for me that simply read, when you’re ready give me a call – and then his number. I happened to be in Panera and sat there and cried. Why? I don’t know. I guess I didn’t believe that online dating could work, maybe it was the fear of what would happen, or it could’ve been the fact that I was really tired from having bronchitis that week. lol
But I cried, then I texted my mentor.
What did she say?
Call him Monique, What are you waiting for?!?
What was I waiting for? Courage. Bravery. A carefree attitude. Or maybe I needed to remember who I was trusting.
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart. Had I done that? I think so. I went to Him instead of just living on every word this guy was saying. Lean not on your OWN understanding…What was I leaning on? I wouldn’t have chosen to meet a guy this way. I didn’t understand why this seemed to be going good. But still felt peace in it. In ALL of your ways SUBMIT to Him. Was I submitting? It was in His hands. I went to Him consistently. Then the rest was up to Him, He would make my path straight. No matter what came of this, He would make it straight, as I continued to trust, lean, and submit.
So I called him.