When God called me back into the classroom, I told Him I would go anywhere but the place I received my B.A. from. Just thinking about it sent anxiety back through me. I had found new freedom from dark anxious thoughts and I did not want to go back through the hallways of triggers and memories.
But God had different plans.
He brought me back and he kept me rooted in the freedom I had newly found.
After 2 semesters of 4.0’s I realized God truly had me. In December I received an invitation to apply for scholarships. I decided to fill out a few and the general application. Not thinking much beyond, “It would be nice to receive some money to help pay for my books,” I hit submit and went on with my day. Months later I received a phone call that I would be receiving the TEACH Grant which would pay about half of my tuition each year. I was ecstatic. Later that week I received another call. This time it was from the scholarship committee. They wanted to set up an interview. Nervous as all get out I got on my computer to talk to a few ladies from the University. Things went well and I was told I would know by the end of the month.
Joseph was placed in charge of the food and economy during the time of the famine. God’s favor was heavy upon him and Egypt was a place of provision because of what God was doing through Joseph. As the lands dried up, Jacob, Joseph’s dad, told his sons to go to Egypt to gather food for their family. When they got there, Joseph realized that it was his brothers who bowed before him. He tested them to see if they had changed the way they treated Joseph’s other sibling. They had.
They cared for their youngest brother.
They cared for their father.
They were in the midst of dreams that God gave Joseph coming true.
Joseph was overwhelmed with the truth that had been planted in his hear decades ago.
“Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, “Make everyone go out from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it. And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt. Hurry and go up to my father and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; do not tarry.” Genesis 45: 1-9
A week or so after the interview I received an email stating that Financial Aid had made some changes to my account. I logged on to my account and saw that I received a little over $500 in scholarships for the next school year. I was happy, that could take care of a book or two.
A few days later I had to get some info from my college account so I logged on. Since I was on I went ahead and checked my financial aid status again and was shocked to see not one, not even two but 3 more scholarships added. The total was now over $12,000! My entire year was paid competly for. I was beyond thankful. Knowing that I did not have to take out loans for the rest of my credentialing program was relieving. I could start paying on loans and hopefully get them down a little bit more before I started any other degrees.
About 2 weeks later I received some money from a Grant and decided to use it to pay towards loans. I went to log into my account to get the loan information and was shocked to see another 2 scholarships added to my account, both of them Alumni scholarships. They brought my total of scholarships for 2017-2018 school year to over $16,000!
The years of torment handed to me through the literature I had to read paid off. The years of choosing to have integrity and be faithful and obedient paid off. The years of believing that God would be with me through some of the hardest years of my life paid off.
Through the good and the bad choose to be faithful to Him. He has you. Today I look back and I am able to be astounded by the generosity and love of our God. As Joseph said in Genesis 50 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”
He is not done with you yet.