”but it’s so dark, are you sure it’s in there?” she said as her body shook with fear of what was beyond the thick darkness. He looked at her with love in his eyes and said, ” Just remember who you are. You won’t have to fight. Just go and reclaim what’s yours.” “Wait, you’re not co-” he quickly interrupted her,”You know I’m always with you. It just looks different. You can do this.” She knew this meant she had to trust him. Just like the previous times where though he didn’t walk beside her he seemed to always give her the strength in a way that was almost better than having him right beside her. So she took her first step into the darkness. It seemed to enclose her. It was hard to breathe. She felt overwhelmed. What did he say? How is it I was just with him and already forgot what he told me, I am so- “Remember who you are” his voice interrupted her thoughts breathing peace into chaos just like before. “But who am I?” she thought for a minute. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” “Light. I am the light because he is in me.” she exclaimed. Just like that fear left. The darkness seemed to back away. Her mind cleared and she focused on what she came for.
Going into this year I knew that God was calling me to reclaim things that I had let go of. Reclaim ideas, loves, dreams, parts of my relationship with him that I felt like the enemy had stolen. Two of those things were dreams and worship. Fear and nightmares have been apart of my life for such a long time. Daydreams that created false expectations were ways to escape. But real dreams seemed hard to conjure up. Worship became something that was redundant or an experience where I felt shame because my worth was a lot less than others based on what I could see.
During worship earlier this year Daddy took me on this grand adventure that you read at the beginning of this blog. He took me to a place that challenged my mindset that said that the enemy is the one that takes ( which is true) BUT what He challenged was, how often do I allow the enemy to take these things?
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
He led me to a valley where I had to remember that I had the light and that the battle wasn’t won in my strength. In my serving in ministry or doing all of the cute Christian stuff but the battle would be won in the strength of Him and who He is in my life. As the adventure continued I remember seeing a jewel sitting in the midst of the darkness. Nothing guarding it, I simply had to pick it up if I wanted it to be back in my possession. So that’s what I did.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21
I picked up a jewel that I had originally left unguarded because the treasure I focused on was the things that looked valuable. You see when we treasure the wrong things we guard the wrong things. When we begin to treasure our reputation above our standing with God we leave our standing with God unguarded. When we value our daydreams above God’s dreams for us we leave His dreams unguarded. We treasure our will above His.
This year I found that the battle is not just in what the enemy has tried to take but the battle is also in my flesh. A situation came a few months ago that directly attacked my dream of being married. I found myself giving up on a dream that I’ve wanted for so long. I remember standing in the aisle of Target crying as I told my mom that I don’t want to get married any more because of the hurt and pain that this situation brought up. That scared me. That’s when I realized that I had to reclaim that dream. Partly because I had allowed a bad situation to steal kill and destroy that dream but also because I had the perspective of how I thought my future marriage should look over how God wants it to look. My perspective was filled with fear of it becoming something horrible, while God was speaking that even in the face of something bad happening, He could take care of it so there was no need to worry about the future of things.
He has continued to tell me to reclaim and re guard the treasures in my heart. The reclaiming looks like going and taking back what I allowed the enemy to steal and giving it back to God. Allowing Him to change my perspective.
Do you feel like there are parts of your life where the enemy keeps stealing killing and destroying? It feels like he keeps gaining ground? Well take heart. The truth is that through God’s word you can reclaim what has been stolen from you. In reclaiming you have also choose to guard what you want to be important to you. In Matthew 6 Jesus says, “”But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;21for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Choose to allow your treasure to be found in Heaven. The things of this world will one day fade but when Jesus is your joy and treasure you will protect your relationship with Him and what He is doing in your life. No matter how many times it feels like you’ve tried to find peace, receive joy, worship Him in spirit and in truth, will you try again? Get up, dust yourself off, and start treasuring the jewels that will truly last.
Keep journeying dear friends.