I don’t even know where to begin… This past week has been wonderful, adventurous, terrifying. uncomfortable, exhausting, and encouraging. I guess to begin this story I have to back up.
About two weeks ago I was in the church office and some of the interns were listening to this song called oceans by hillsong. When I heard the song my heart jumped. Many times I cant express how I feel but I will hear a song and it will say exactly what I need to hear. This song echoed what my Daddy had been telling me since the accident. He wants me to trust Him. That next week I would listen to that song over 300 times. The part that always got me was when they sing, “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith would be made stronger in the Presence of my SAVIOR” this line would become my prayer.
My trust definatley had to be without borders this past week. I packed my bags sunday afternoon and went to church that night, leaving my bags in the car that we would be taking the next morning, then went home. At about 3 AM I woke up and just felt that I needed to pray so I did and went back to sleep. Monday morning I woke up, excited and headed to the church. When I arrived, there was a lot of laughing and joking as we waited for the rest of the team. Within 10 minutes the team got there, we went to pack one more thing and then found out some pretty bad news. My bag along with another team members’ was taken. All of the clothes that I loved so much, and the work that I put into making sure I had enough toiletries and what not was gone. And the only thing that I could even think of doing was… Laugh . Daddy immediately told me to trust Him, go to san Francisco and love people, because we were about to destroy the work of the enemy.
So that is what I did. On the way there I was asked what I wanted to do during the week and I immediately thought about the interns that live there. I wanted to encourage them because I was there for a week and then went home but they remained in the area, so they needed joy and encouragement.
We arrived in San Fran later Monday afternoon. As we drove to the Tenderloin district I started to see why the devil did not want God’s children there…I saw more brokenness than I have seen compacted into a small area. I cant describe what I saw because I have not processed it all yet, so I will give you the statistics, to the best of my memory: The Tenderloin district is, either 30 something or 50 something (I cant remember), blocks. In those blocks there are
37,000 people thirty-seven thousand people that live there. A few thousand are kids. Another few thousand live on the streets and the rest live in apartments. Apartments that are a few hundred square feet, smaller than an average master bathroom in the US, and they contain a room. Period. No bathroom. No toilet. No kitchen. A room. The floor for these apartments contain a community bathroom and kitchen for the residents to share. Sounds okay except for the fact that there are a few corrupt people that harass others while they try and take care of bathroom business. The ones that are on the street mostly are not all there mentally because of drugs or just mental illness.
I could feel the hopelessness in the atmosphere, but Daddy reminded me that with Him I am an atmosphere changer.
After a overview of what the Tenderloin is and how this area functions, we went on a prayer walk. One of the interns, Zach, walked with us to different areas that City Impact owns and works at. We prayed for different things at each location. Purity is a big thing for me because I know and have seen the way that it destroys people. One of the places Zach pointed out that we prayed for was a sex club. God immediately told me that I needed to pray. This place and the guy that owns it broke my heart. God really stirred my heart for people in the tenderloin that are stuck in a perverted mindset. In that moment I realized how much God doesn’t want to condemn us but He wants us to realize the influence we have over people and use it for His glory. I believe that man will one day realize that he can influence people positively not negatively and he will allow God to be that influence in his life.
Over the next few posts I will continue to process. Things are raw right now but I hope at the end of these posts I am able to see the bigger picture and I hope you can find motivation to help the world, and gratefulness for the things that you have. People are suffering in our own backyard, and we complain when our coffee isn’t made the right way, or the line at the store is too long. One thing I have figured out is that I cannot live the same way. I have to lean on my Daddy even more and allow Him to lead me where my trust is without borders.