Over the last two months I have had different people come up and say something along the lines of, “You look different, refreshed” “Did you change your makeup?” “You’re glowing, is there a boy in your life now?” and my answer has been really, no, and No, I actually laughed at the boy response. But as I look at things that have happened in the last two months, and the things that are still happening I feel everything but refreshed, glowing and different. Frankly I have felt warn out.
I recently got to the point where I asked God why people kept asking me these questions when I just came out of one of the toughest seasons I have been in and He did not respond right away. While I waited for His response I decided to do one of my things on my 23 list, which was be in a photoshoot. A dear friend of mine that is a photographer came out to California from Kansas to shoot a few pictures and without thinking about it and analyzing, like I usually do, I booked a spot and I had her shoot my College Senior pictures.
The shoot was fun and awkward in some ways only because I am not used to all of the attention and focus being on me. I was happy afterward and could not wait to get the pictures back, until an all too familiar voice popped in my head. I started to get scared that they would not be pretty enough. That even though Amanda’s work is amazing, that they wouldn’t be nice because I was in it. I started thinking of every “bad” picture I had ever seen, it did not matter if it was of me or someone else. This voice was loud in my High School years, but I didn’t allow it to stick around too long this time around. I have grown from being that person. I then got my answer from God. He told me that I posses confidence now. That because I rely on Him more and I know the truth that I don’t have to listen to that voice anymore. He also told me that I may have felt tired because of the numerous events that have come up, but He was producing a new level of perseverance and that what I was really feeling was the effects of pushing through and fighting.
I am so happy that I decided to get my senior pictures done. It was fun and a lesson that needed to be learned. When you wear confidence and trust in your Heavenly Father, people see it.
liked LOVED the results